I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
dude. I can hear the air.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
