No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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