girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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