white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
