I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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