I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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