how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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