He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
