I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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