you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
