Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
