Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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