At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
