She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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