you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
as a side note pls kill me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
