i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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