He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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