shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
