Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize