just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
