I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
