Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
