Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
