I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
that's an acceptable place to lick
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
