"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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