Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
