just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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