Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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