Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
