Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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