WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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