Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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