If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
