she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
