I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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