Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
