Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
