honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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