He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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