The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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