bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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