dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
