Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
