You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
