I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
