I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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