he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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