I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
