Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
