Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
