hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
