you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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