I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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