is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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