the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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