you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
