She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
