She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
