Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i permit you to call me
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
