god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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