He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
