do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
