i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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