So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize