your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
