Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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