Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
