there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
