the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
