Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
