Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
