This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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