Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
