and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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